Monthly Archives: January 2010

College Dating, 2.0

Do you remember dating in the college?

Most relationships began on regular Saturday night. One girl and one boy would drink Jack Daniels and Natural Light until they were just sober enough to stumble to the nearest bar. Once at the bar, they would teeter the line between line between reality and the land of lost inhibitions until they were nudged over to the dark side by that extra and unnecessary shot. Said shot would consequently replace their sober vision with a worn down pair of beer goggles. With a new outlook on the world, the two now see the bar (and the people in it) in a brand new, more attractive light. Now, the regular guy trying to entice the regular girl becomes a guy who believes he looks like Brad Pitt trying to court a girl who he thinks looks like Angelina Jolie.

By now “Brad” is all all hopped up on cans of courage and believes has the ability to seduce “Angelina” by simply approaching her and talking about things no one will remember the next day. At around 2 a.m. the two approach a turning point where they are forced to contemplate life’s perplexing quandaries such as, “Is this guy too ugly to go home with?” or, “Is this girl drunk enough to go home with me?” Don’t forget the ever popular non-thought where no internal debate or moral contemplation occurs. This usually leads to the most painful of moral hangovers. However, eventually, if both find that the other meets their shockingly low standards, the boy and the girl sketchily creep out of the bar and head back to the guy’s man cave. They make out in his room that smells like stale beer to the sounds of techno music and eventually pass out for the night.

On Sunday morning the girl wakes up next to the consequences of her poor decision making. Before “it” can rise she shamefully sneaks out the back way, wearing her dress and high heels from the night before. That day consists of both parties texting false, face-saving statements about themselves such as, “I’m sorry things got so crazy last night, I don’t normally do things like that” or, “I’m sorry for throwing up on your floor last night, I don’t normally do things like that”. This mating ritual repeats every weekend and on all other socially acceptable drinking nights until the two people decide that they want to exclusively be drunk with each other and no one else.

Such is dating in college. The glory days, if you will.

As a college graduate I’ve found that post-graduate dating now seems to be an improved, more involved version of collegiate dating. College dating 2.0, if you will. This edition actually involves going on dates. This requires taking girls out to dinner and, gasp, paying!¬†Graduate women are independent ladies who don’t want no scrubs so now guys need more than their lacrosse jerseys and Jungle Juice hook that fish out of the water. There are still the same awkward conversations there were in College 1.0 where girls try to impress guys with their “vast” sports knowledge and guys try to impress girls by holding their hands and sitting through¬†The Notebook. Now only difference is that random, drunk hook ups are less acceptable and men and women need to be more selective with who they are going to choose as their partner in morally irresponsible crime. This is True Love, 2.0.

Tagged , ,