Monthly Archives: April 2010

Die-t

I recently came across this article which mentioned 25 foods would-be dieters should avoid if they want to reverse the fattening process or, in other words, successfully hop on the diet train into the land of the thin. The articles starts off by frightening readers with pictures of Smoothie King’s Hulk Strawberry Smoothie and and Pizza Hut’s Meaty P’Zone and continues the “fright fest” by warning readers against Auntie Anne’s Jumbo Pretzel Dog and Lunchables.

The first thing I thought when I saw this list was, “I would sell my first dog for an Auntie Anne’s Jumbo Pretzel Dog” and the second was “I would sell my second dog to be able to wash it down with a PB&C Shake from Coldstone.” Eventually, I came to the conclusion that this list of “danger foods” was exceptionally obvious and mindblowingly stupid. Anyone who really thinks they can eat foods that have words “meaty” and “jumbo” in their title and still have a body comparable to Kim Kardashian is a moron. Sure, the article made an effort to unveil the hidden calorie count of some seemingly healthy snacks like PowerBar Performance Energy Cookies and Cream Bar and Healthy-Choice Sweet and Sour Chicken but I would consider these diet-helpers because they both seem gross enough to turn me off food for a while.

If someone really wants to diet they should just look at pictures of this bombshell. I guarantee that tattooed train wreck will suppress any appetite you had or will have for the next three weeks.

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